6 Teen to 60
by MessedUpToe
Summary: The 6 friends go on an exciting adventure through time. You're gonna love this! :)


"Jonesy woke up, got out of bed, and put some blue dye on his head and pube hair. He put lemon scented cream on his stiff morning slim jim. Before walking out of his apartment, he bent over, and gave himself a blow job. "Thank god I took up yoga" he thought to himself. After he had satisfied his morning needs to the best of his ability, a man ran by and stole Jonesy's Gucci purse! "GIVE THAT BACK EH!" Jonesy yelled! The adrenaline of the moment rushed straight from his head to his penal cavity. His penis started low, then it started to GROW! He tried to run after the man, but alas, his boner was too intense. He could barely move. He stupidly paid a dog $5 to help him finish the job. The dog used his long, sloppy, experienced tongue to jerk off Jonesy. Thrilled, Jonesy skipped after the criminal, peed on him, and took back his Gucci purse. "That'll show you to thteel my purthes! I have tamponth in there!"

"Why do you need tampons kid?" the scruffy burglar asked.

"If you mutht know, I have butt hole periodth thank you very muchth!" Jonesy shot back.

Jen woke up, next to a strange, obese, hairy man thing. His house was small and smelled like diabetes. She peeled him off of her body. His robust moobs and flabby thighs crushed her legs. "I must've been drugged again" she thought to herself as she pulled a chicken leg from his belly button. "Um, sir? Sir! Your cat is stuck between your butt cheeks sir. What did you say your name was sir? Fat B. McBurp?" As she tossed the name around in her head, Mr. McBurp made a strange sound and belch-barfed up a chicken scrotum. "Um, ew sir." Jen stammered. She crept out of the room, clothes clutched between her boobs.

"GO AHEAD!" Fat burped after her, "GO LIKE ALL THE REST! DIRTY WHORE!" Fat threw a wet, sticky condom at the door after her. "SOD OFF! WANKER!"

"That's the last time I sniff hairy, fat, gooey butt cheek laced with cocaine on a bet that I'll find a four leaf clover." Jen needed an early morning drink before work, so she kneaded her sore, mis-shapen, swollen jugs and suckled out mother natures honey. "Thank god I took up yoga." Jen happily thought. She then crawled up a cat's butt hole and got a free ride to the mall :) She also got a nice healthy breaky of kitten in the cat's womb (But don't tell the cat!)

Nikki opened her crusty eyes. Her toe jammed feet popped out of the ends of her bed. "Another day, another migraine." she thought. She loved Squidward, so she quoted him all the time. She took off her Squidward pajamas and cuddled with her life sized Squidward doll that came with a built in tentacle dildo. "I love life, Squidy-poo." She put his face in between her boobs and shook...A LOT. She stood up, spanked her Squid-man for a good hour. When her hands were blistered and sore, she went and got ready for the morning. After taking a big crap on the dumper, she did her exercises. On the way to her workout mat, she passed her 'special jar.' She had been saving up for YEARS to get her tentacle transplant surgery. "Ahh, can't wait!" she thought as she looked at the jar with a gleam in her eye. She started working out. She bent backward and stuck her tongue up her butt hole. "Thank god I took up yoga." Nikki thought. She put on her shirt (the one with holes where her boobs are) and left for the mall. "I'm glad my daddy pitched in with my surgery and helped me buy those squid suction cup nipples." To get to the mall faster, she stuck her squid-ipples to a bus and rode the rest of the way there. "Ah, this is so nice," she thought, "the wind on my face, running through my hair, flowing around every crevice of my boobs, it's just a delight."

Jude woke up in an alley way. Everything was a blur and his head pounding! "What did I do last night duuder?!" He tried to get up, but a paw pushed him back to the ground. It started massaging his little child nipples.

"HEY BABY. WAS IT GOOD FOR YOU TOO?"

Jude had no clue what was going on. "Duuude?" He looked up and saw two large, green eyes staring at him. To the side of the alley was a big, silver, shimmering pelt. He looked over to the green eyed specter. "Who are you, dude?" All of a sudden, a buck naked cat with an absolutely HUMUNGOR PENIS AND BALLS stood before Jude. "Whoooooooa. Nice package man! What happened last night?! And where are my pants?! AND MY BAG OF POT!?"

"Relax young Jude, er, dude. Your pants are under my pelt so they stay warm and your drugs are in our bodies young one. We knocked boots last night child." He said as he licked his naked paw.

"DUDE THIS IS STELLAR! YOLO RIGHT?! HER HA HEE!" He bent way over and allowed the cat to lick his abnormally hairy rectum. "Thank god I took up yoga." Jude had recently become one with the world (Drugs had really changed him). He stripped down so that he was completely naked. He went to a breezy, sunny, grassy spot, spread his arms out, and let the Earth cleanse him. The cat cum dried onto his skin, he got wind burn, his big blonde bush feathered as it aired out, and he felt glorious. He then strolled off to the mall.

Wyatt rolled out of bed and got ready. "Thank god I took up yoga." Wyatt healthily strode to the mall.

Caitlin woke up to a wet sensation in her blue skirt she wears every episode even though she's always buying new clothes. Her monthly gift had come. She rushed to the bathroom and put a tampon into her vaginal cavity. She had to put it in with her teeth though because her hands were dirty. "Thank god I took up yoga." Uncomfortable and bloated, she walked into her kitchen to eat some Munchy Crunchy flakes- her favorite. After taking a bite though, her stomach started to grow. It grew. And grew! AND GREW SOME MORE! Her whole body was gaining tons of weight by the second! "AAHHHHHH!" She yelled. The camera zoomed in on her shaking uvula as she screamed. The tampon popped out of her. "EW!" she shrieked. She waddled over to her closet and put on some clothes. They all either didn't fit, or ripped off. Angry, she made herself throw up to lose weight. Unfortunately it just made her gain more. Her butt was huge! Luckily her neighbors were midgets, so she borrowed their abnormally tiny car to get to work.

The gang got to the mall and to their disbelief Ron the rent a cop had finally started wearing women's clothing! He had extensions, a fake ghetto booty, and implants!

"I can't believe Ron finally became a women! Power to him!" Jonesy said, proud of Ron.

"Maggots, I am now Roneesha!" Roneesha said.

Caitlin clapped her hands like a retarded seal and jumped up and down with glee. Jonesy, Jude and Wyatt all got erections, as her boobs were bouncing up and down. "Yaaaaay for Roneesha!" Caitlin squeeled stupidly.

"Duuuuuuuuude" :) said sly dog Jude as his boner grew firmer.

Jen took a dump in her pants when she saw Roneesha. "Uh why are you dressed like that?"

"WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS PUTTING ME DOWN?! I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!" Roneesha said as she ran to the bathroom to fix her makeup.

Caitlin forgot about Roneesha the instant she left, "So, how were your mornings?" she asked the gang as they settled into their seats in front of The Venereal Squeeze.

Jonesy shrugged, "Meh, the usual. You?"

"Nah dude, today was a little crazy for me. I found a five dollar bill in my pocket, man!" Jude gleamed, excited about his lucky find.

"Nice man! Mine was more exciting then usual, usually my mornings are pretty boring but today was a big jump from the norm." Wyatt said.

Jen looked a bit sad, "I broke up with my boyfriend again after he drugged me for the fifth time in two days. I thought we would last but..." She choked back tears.

"What was his name again?" Caitlin asked.

Jen frowned, "McBurp or something..."

"Sounds like a keeper, Jen. Maybe he and I should hook up one day, after I break up with Squid-er I mean Edward, But of course that will never happen. We will be together forever." Nikki said, fondling her boobs as she thought of her squiddy friend. Her boobs got hard and erect and her nipples inked. "Uh oh...uh I have to go for a second," Nikki grabbed some napkins and patted her inky boobs before running off to the bathroom, hoping Roneesha had left by now.

Wyatt stood from his chair and began to slither across the floor, froth coming from his mouth.

"Is he ok?" Jen asked.

"I think I saw him stuff his guitar down his throat to try to impress Roneesha or something."

"Ok."

As Wyatt gasped for air, Jude began to pick his nose hairs and wipe them on his fully exposed crotch to appear more manly. Unfortunatly, his nose hairs were not blonde so it appeared he had sprinkled another mans pube hair on his.

Jonesy saw this and cracked up, "Are you-"

"Maybe...I mean, NO DUDE! I'm with Felix the cat, brah."

"Oh man I'm sorry, I thought, that was-I'm sorry. I didn't know." Jonesy said quickly.

"Nah its fine, man." Jude smiled and stared off into space as he injected another dose of heroine into his rectum.

All of a sudden, a light appeared in the middle of the cafeteria. A blinding flash caused everyone to shield their eyes. A time machine stood vacant. Jonesy stood and observed the penis shaped capsule.

"It appears to be a urinal or something." He said, pulling his fly down. As he relieved himself in the capsule, an alien popped out.

"ALKAMALAZAKAMA-grugglle..." All of a sudden, the alien disintegrated, urine being his weakness. Little did they know, inside the alien was a neurotoxin that shreds human skin off of the body like pencil shavings. Jonesy's skin shredded off of his body and fell to his feet just as the last drop of urine escaped his penis hole.

"WHAT THE-OH NO! I'M SLIGHTLY LESS HANDSOME!" He yelled in alarm as he threw up his organs and died on the spot.

Caitlin sipped her drink, "That was funny." She said clapping up and down.

Jen got a boob erection from her silly little blonde friend and Jude's penis shot up into the air, shooting cum like a fountain due to the beautiful bosoms on his friend.

Jen curiously approached the capsule, stepping on Jonesy's remains before scraping them off of her shoe. "I think this may be a time machine." She said, reading the side of the penal capsule. Caitlin and Jude stood with her in awe of the intergalactic capsule. To their surprise, nobody but them seemed to notice the capsule but who cares? Its a cartoon.

"Wanna travel through time, duders?" Jude asked as he climbed into the capsule and lay in Jonesy's warm urine. He flicked his dooby that he was smoking out of the capsule and into his shredded buddies remains. "Rad..." said Jude.

Jude put his feet up in the capsule and accidentally made them go ahead 44 years. The girls saw it was taking off, they figured it would be fun and hopped into the urine-filled penis machine with Jude. Nikki watched the machine whir and disappear into the future. She waved goodbye to her friends.

"Bye Nikki, see ya when we get back." Jude waved before they completely disappeared.

Nikki pulled out a gun and shot herself in the head so that she could be with Squidward in sea-heaven. She fell to the ground in a pool of her own blood and vomit. A tear slid from her eye before gasping her last breath in special chair.

Meanwhile in the time machine:

"I gotta take a dump, man." Jude said.

"Just do it, we don't mind." Caitlin said.

"In fact, do it in my shoe, It feels good on my feet." Jen said, taking a sip of Jonesy's piddle, as she was parched.

"I hear its good for feet therapy." Caitlin said happily. "Oh look! We made it to the future."

"MY BALLS HURT MAN!" Jude, who had not bothered to pull up his pants since he was sprinkling his nose hairs on his pubes, saw that his beloved jelly balls were melting and sagging. "WHAT'S GOING ON, MAN! IS THIS A TRIP?!" He said urgently. They all of a sudden made a bubbling noise and fell completely off of his body, plopping into the steamy urine. The girls boobs started to severely sag as the years dragged on in the time machine. Their faces grew wrinkled and gray except for Jude who still looked young and youthful even though he was getting older too.

"Whats happening?" Jen asked as her teeth fell out and sizzled away in the urine which was quickly heating up.

"I think we are getting older." Caitlin said as her boobs got so saggy they popped out of her shirt. The time machine made a ticking noise as the year began to approach.

Jude smoked another joint as the ticking began to speed up, "Almost there, man. Aaaah. This bath is getting warm, dude." The urine was indeed heating up, almost boiling.

Caitlin began to sweat as the urine bath began to bubble and steam filled the capsule. "It's getting really hot in here."

Jen, who was playing with her wrinkly elbow skin, nodded in agreement, "Yeah, its making my skin shrivel up. Can I have a bagel?" She wanted a bagel.

"Go to the Bagel Hut." Caitlin said helpfully to her friend.

"This steam is turning me on, maaaaan." Jude said as he began to jack off. Cum splattered all over the controls, making everything go haywire. The buttons and knobs in the machine began to make loud beeping noises.

"ALERT ALERT." The capsule began to spit cum out the top, trying with desperation to fix itself but it was too late. The boiling urine and the cum was too much for the time machine.

Jude calmly sat in the boiling urine as the girls began to panic.

"What's going on?" Caitlin said in alarm.

Jen tore her shirt off as the boiling urine began to become too much for the old girls, "I think somethings wrong." she said.

"Really?" Caitlin said, scratching her head in thought. All of a sudden, her fingers broke off and stuck in her hair. The boiling urine had gone in through their pores and was disintegrating their bodies, except Jude's of course.

"Oh no! I worked for hours on my nails!" Caitlin said with dismay. Her legs began to dissolve in the urine bath as the heat became too intense for anyone to handle and the alarms were driving them insane.

"WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE!" Jen said in alarm as her ribs began to show as her skin dissolved off. Jude itched his hairy armpits and a secret compartment in his arm opened up (Felix had put it in his arm so that he can have a wiff of cocaine whenever he needed) and pulled out bag of cocaine and offered it to his friends before sniffing it all himself.

"Aw, its gone." He said with a slurred fashion.

As Jen and Caitlin began to fight to the death, Jude thought about something, something he hadn't before. Trees are green. "Cool." He said.

Caitlin tore the head off of her friend Jen, just as she did, she died of a heart attack and both old ladies lay dead, floating facedown in the urine filled capsule. Jude did not seem to take notice until the machine automatically sent him back home when it malfunctioned from all of the piss and cum on the dashboard. When Jude arrived in his own time, he opened the capsule and stepped out.

"That was a relaxing bath." he said calmly and pulled his pants up.

Wyatt was dead.

The End.


End file.
